Kalki Koechlin

Lakshmi Pratury: So Kalki, I wanna talk about identity. Hmm. What is identity to you? I mean, you have, you have Hmm.

Amazing mix of backgrounds to be here. So tell me your background and your mix and your identity. If Kalki Koechlin: I figure it out, I'll let you know.

Right now, I have no idea. I As you know, I was born in South India. My parents are both French, but I grew up all my life in India, lived here all my life.

They've been here for 40 years. So basically, my skin is white and my heart is brown. Lakshmi Pratury: Do you ever have situations where somebody says something in Yeah.

Not knowing you understand Kalki Koechlin: Very often. I mean, I've had very entertaining conversations happen right in front of me. Two boys, you know, commenting on me, saying, you know.

And not, I mean, they can be taken as flattering or slightly, you know, lewd comments that they'll be making about me. And then at the end of their conversation, I'll say something in Tamil, and their jaw drops open and they're like, "Oh my God."

So yeah, that happens. That happens, quite a lot. Yeah. Lakshmi Pratury: So you obviously are raised here, went to a boarding school.

What were you like as a kid? I mean, as, for an actor, we always think of people who are exuberant, excited, out there. Were you like the popular chick in school?

Or what were you Oh, God, no. When you were growing up? Kalki Koechlin: Not at all. I was, I was very painfully shy.

I. You know, I grew up in a school which was this British school in South India, English medium school. When I first got there, I had a French accent 'cause I was six years old, and at home I spoke French.

So I used to say things like cucumber for cucumber, and you know, people used to really make fun of that. So I quickly, like, changed that and became very, you know, normal in the way I spoke or whatever. And then, you know, my Tamil, like, sort of took a backseat as well because English was, like, cool and everything.

So there were all these things where I. You know, I was I think since a very young age trying very hard to just be what I you know, what everybody else wants me to be. I was always quiet.

I was very, you know, shy. I never really, you know, expressed what I felt and things like that. And I was, I had braces for, like, five years, so, you know, I had no chance with most of the boys.

And I think the way that I used to protect myself was by being a clown, by making people laugh, you know? So that was my kind of barrier. That was my way of, you know, making friends, and not really showing people my insecurities or what I was really inside.

Lakshmi Pratury: Yeah. So from this painfully shy girl to take one of the most daring roles in DevD, I mean, that's quite a stretch. So what was it, what made you decide you wanted to be an actress? Maybe tell us a little bit about, did you have a struggle before you wanted to become an actress, or was it easy for you?

Kalki Koechlin: It it was a long struggle. It was a long struggle convincing my mother that I'm not insane. Really from a, from a young age, I always was.

The one place where I could just go and do something and become a character was on stage, you know? So in school we used to have drama productions, and suddenly I was, you know, somebody else, and it was very liberating for me, seeing as I don't know who I am myself.

And then when I grew up and suddenly I had to, you know, become an adult and do something with my life, I don't take myself seriously enough to do something serious. So, you know, I like everything I do, I've gotta do it with some fun. And and also really, I don't take myself seriously.

Like, you know, I'm the first person to laugh at myself and things. So I think this was, for me, just the first thing that came to mind was something creative, drama. And then I went to university in London.

I went to Goldsmiths and I studied drama there. And again, I felt like I didn't know where I was, who I was, because suddenly I was in this country where everybody thought I was, you know, for. I mean, I was from there, you know?

Yeah. They thought I was from England or from France. And yet, you know, when I said, "I'm Indian and my name is Kalki," and then they were like, "Oh, you don't look Indian." Yeah. "But you don't sound English.

But you don't, you know," and Yeah. "You don't. Where are you from?" And I yeah, I still don't have an answer for that.

So, I lost my train of thought. What were you asking? Lakshmi Pratury: No, it's okay. You know, continuing on that, what was your first break, you know, when When I first

When you auditioned for that? See, Kalki Koechlin: I after I finished, my theater studies in London, I went ahead. I came back home and I started doing theater here.

And I did a lot of sort of physical theater, improvisational theater. And I didn't know where I was going, but I knew that there was one thing that I was really hungry about and that's, you know, telling stories and becoming somebody else. And in that, you start to understand somebody else, I think, and that's what I loved about acting.

That, you know? Right. Yeah. Acting is therapy. It's like you go into somebody else's mind, you discover things, and then you feel a lot less distant from people because you who cares if they don't think the same way or they behave strangely or you know.

They might have so many different things which at first you're so, it's so easy to judge somebody just by looking at them. And I think when you start to take acting seriously, you really sort of break that down and you know, see the humanity and the people behind that. Lakshmi Pratury: So how do you prepare for a role?

Kalki Koechlin: I'm just so overexcited when I get a role that I do too much work. I believe in doing too much work. I believe in just going out researching and digging and annoying my director and calling them up every day and saying, "What can, what else can I do?

Tell me, tell me. Should I watch some movies, read some books, do this, do that?" I do my research and everything, and I have way too much information which I'll never be able to use, and then I let it all go when I come.

On set. You know? I feel you have to be ultra prepared and then wait for the surprise, you know? Just let things surprise you.

Let the other actor surprise you or let your director tell you, "No, I don't want you to do it in this way. I want you to do it that way." So, yeah. Lakshmi Pratury: So everybody knows you as an actress.

What. Tell me your other avatars as a writer, a poet. What are the other things you do that are that you're equally excited about? I Kalki Koechlin: like to write, but no, you know what?

I don't know if I like to write. I'm a very reluctant writer. I've written all my life, but I've noticed that I only write when I'm depressed or unemployed.

So I don't know if I really like to write. It's a, it's Lakshmi Pratury: Have you been writing anything lately? Kalki Koechlin: I've been writing something, yeah, a few months back, Lakshmi Pratury: Which one is it?

Depressed or unemployed? Kalki Koechlin: Both. Both. Or bored maybe. Mm-hmm. That was the other one.

But yeah, I just wrote a play recently. It's a very personal thing, my writing. Yeah. It's not really something that I do for somebody else.

Of course, you know, when you put a play up, you put it up for an audience, but when I write it, I really just get it out of my system. Lakshmi Pratury: My last question to you Kalki. You are the future, young, you know, you're part of the Ink Fellows program.

As you look at the future as a young person, what do, what would you like to do and what do you wish happened? Kalki Koechlin: I think it's too early for me to say what I wish to happen. I don't wish anything to happen.

I'm terrible at planning things, and I don't wanna predict anything. I feel that everybody, you know, actually is so afraid of facing themselves most of the time. You know, we are always being people for somebody else, and this is my, me personally I'm talking about as well.

I've always been somebody for somebody, you know, like, played somebody for other people.

And I think acting and finding something that you're passionate about is a way to really be truthful with yourself and be honest with yourself, and I don't really have any, you know, sort of way of living or you know, a philosophy of life except that, you know, there's a Japanese saying that I like which says, "Yesterday worse than today, tomorrow better than today", or something like that.

But basically, you know, there's another day coming, and you just need to keep going and you need to get better. Yeah. And I think that's it, you know. You know, we're, we're too busy judging other people or you know, judging how we should be with other people, rather than just concentrating on, you know, what's in front of us.

Take a step, move forward, do something. Great. Lakshmi Pratury: Thank you for being here, Kalki.