Find Your People
So I'd like to start here today by addressing the parents of the class of 2019. And to you I would like to say, I hear you. Don't worry, I have already had the T-shirts made up, "My kid just graduated from Brown, and all I got was the dude from The Office."
Good, glad you think that's funny. That's really funny. Let me tell you what's really funny, the notorious RBG, His Holiness, they didn't go to Brown. Not smart enough. You know who did go to Brown?
The dude from The Office. That's ridiculous. It actually sounded awful just coming out. And because of that, I am specifically and acutely aware of just what an astounding honor it is to be here today.
So to the graduates of the class of 2019, tomorrow I say thank you. Thank you for letting me be here today. Truly, thank you for letting me be a part of your day.
This is your day, and you are graduating tomorrow. How cray is that? Does anyone say cray anymore?
Okay. I'm ancient. Who's nervous? Let me see a show of hands of the people on the. Really? A lot of outliers here.
Just. Well, I look forward to your world domination. I was terrified because all the people came up to me and said, "The future belongs to you." Whoa. What? I am currently searching for an apartment trying to keep the number of roommates in single digits.
Literally nothing belongs to me. Take a deep breath. Let's all take a breath.
Wow, you actually did it. You're gonna be great. There are many sides to being nervous, and a whole lot of them are wildly useful.
And for the ones that aren't so useful, well, let me see if I can't walk you through some of those. Believe it or not, they asked me to come up with a title of this speech. Yes, this character has this as a speech.
And yes, they think it's good enough to come up with a name. What's so hard to understand? The name I came up with off the top of my head was, what do I know?
Right? Pretty good. And oddly enough, that line went from being some jokey device I was using to deflect my own fears of being up here to a genuine challenge to myself. What do I know that I can tell you guys about that could possibly illuminate the future that stands in front of you?
Well, I know that tomorrow you will receive, all receive a piece of paper that says you've gotten one of the best educations there is to get, period. I also know that that education did not necessarily happen in the classroom. You know, the funniest thing about me is my getting into Brown, I didn't feel I deserved to get in.
So I made it my mission to deserve to graduate. That was my thing. I came to Brown as a midyear.
Don't know if that program exists anymore, but. Yes? One person? Nope. Okay. It's gotten smaller since I was here.
But I was one of 32 kids that were not accepted in the fall with everyone else. Thanks anyway. But rather we came in alone, hungry and cold in January. I remember immediately trying to find my place, to find a group, to find my people.
There was a moment where I even thought I might try to play basketball here. Don't laugh yet. Don't laugh yet. I my brother Paul was actually the captain of the basketball team, so I had communicated with the coach a couple times about potentially walking on.
Still no laughter, please. And it was January, so it was mid-season. I walked up to the gym one day to meet with the coach.
I opened the door. As the door swung open, by the time it reached the end and was coming back, I went, "No." Nope, these dudes were too big.
They were too good, and it was just after lunch, and they were on their second practice. No, thank you. No, thank you. So I turned around and walked straight through the campus toward my dorm when something caught my eye.
I saw a flyer for a sketch comedy group called Out of Bounds. Yes, you can all clap for them. That's how big we were, too.
It's funny because I think the flyer caught my eye because it was nailed to a tree. And I remember thinking, like, "Whoa, I haven't been at Brown very long, but protecting trees is kinda like one of your things, right?" So I went in for the audition, and my entire life changed.
Nope, not because I got in, not because I started acting. It was through that group that I found my way into this community. It was through that group that I met my people, and all of a sudden, I was surrounded by the most inspiring peers.
I mean, every single one of them seemed way smarter than me, way cooler than me, way more interesting. And one of the best decisions I made in my life was just to lean all the way in. Nope, not to acting.
Are you kidding? I mean, I really wasn't good enough to be here. I don't know if you're listening. These kids were amazing.
Truly, by the end of senior year, the only parts I had ever gotten were, like, armed guard number four. Or terrified hostage guest number two. Yeah, that's right. When I was at Brown, we did Die Hard: The Musical.
Yep. You guys really missed out. I can promise you that. My parents are right here.
They'll tell you you missed out. They didn't? They didn't miss out? It was ridiculous? Okay.
You still have your shirts that say, "My kid went to Brown and all I got was Die Hard: The Musical"? That seems harsh, but we'll talk about it later. No, I didn't get to throw everything into acting, but I did throw everything I had into this unparalleled pool of brilliant people.
You know, people often ask me how I got into acting. The truth is, I didn't get into acting. I got into everything.
Believe it or not, when I got to Brown, I really hadn't listened to any music that wasn't on the radio, seen any movie that wasn't in the multiplex. One day I asked a small group of friends to each give me one of their favorite movies, favorite albums, and they did, every single week for four years. Yeah, cry. Okay, I'm back.
It was the experience of my life, one of the most mind-blowing, mind-expanding experiences, and no drugs were necessary. It was without a doubt the beginning of everything. For the next four years, I wanted to be a part of it all.
I formed a new way of thinking, a new way of executing those thoughts. I leapt out of my comfort zone, then stayed there, and then leapt again. I experienced firsthand the powerful shift in doing something out of love rather than out of necessity.
I learned what it meant to believe. I took chances. I failed, and I took more chances. So yes, in the classroom I received one of the greatest educations one can possibly get, true, but the piece of paper I got at graduation also represents that education.
The piece of paper I got not only says where I was educated, but who I was educated with, and it declares that I am a member of that community of people to be relied upon to take risks, provoke thought, and to be committed participants in this world.
The piece of paper I got represented every facet of my experience, and the piece of paper I got is the exact same piece of paper you're gonna get tomorrow. The piece of paper I got, I live my life every single day by. Because when looking at this sense of nervous that you're feeling now, ask yourself, what's it based in?
Is it based in the unknown? Because my question to you is, up until now, how else, how else have you approached each new tomorrow? And if your nerves are based in fear of failure, well, my question is, up until now, how have you defined success?
Because in this community, without the presence of financial gain, isn't success simply defined as you're just being onto something? Taking an idea farther than it had never been before? Why does it ever need to change?
It doesn't. Or if your nerves are based on something bigger, a fear of something bigger, the world at large. Well, to that I do say, yes, it's true, they're right. The future does indeed belong to you.
But the abstract weight of responsibility to change it overnight very much does not. Real change is organic. Your the only responsibility you all have is to hold fast to everything that you have lived right here, to not conform, to realize that when you're out there, you've done all this before, right in here.
Remember fondly the discomfort you felt when you were asked to push yourself farther than you were ever sure you could go, and the wash of elation when you finally got there. Remember to be scared. You've been there, scared before.
You'll be scared again. Find more of your people. Lean all the way in.
Take chances. Fail big and take chances again. Listen to music. Remember to believe in something, and fall in love as many times as it takes. And remember, before you do something special, just do something.
The truth can almost seem too simple, but the simple truth is, the program you ran here is the same program. Just run it again, and again, and again. That's what I know.
Thank you to this class, to this institution. It is my honor. Thank you.