Cara Delevingne

Hello. Host: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I don't really need to introduce, our next guest, Cara Delevingne. She's, the face of today.

She has more Twitter followers than President Obama, though less, I realized today, than her friend who's in the audience somewhere, Kendall Jenner, and we could go into that later. And Cara, we're gonna go straight in here. It's amazing, how somehow you have been one of those faces that encapsulates a time.

But I wanna go straight back, to the beginning, because what happened before modeling? How did it all get going? I mean, what was going on with you for example, when you were 15?

Cara Delevingne: Okay, so I'm gonna go back, but before I do that I'm just gonna give a quick summary of what I want to talk about, my main points. Sorry, I had to take my shoes off 'cause I'm bloody scared.

What I want to say is, through growing up, what I've discovered is that this world is a very vast, a very wonderful and beautiful one, and there are so many things to discover, but the most important journey I think all of us will go through is the journey in ourselves. To find our truth, to find who we are and what makes us happy.

And in our culture, we are told that if we're beautiful, if we're skinny, if we're successful, famous, if we fit in, if everyone loves us, that we'll be happy. But that's not entirely true. And this is what I wanna talk about, basically.

I'm gonna start with a poem that I wrote when I wasn't very happy. I actually wrote this a year ago, but again, as, if you know depression, it comes back.

It's a reoccurring thing that you can't really swat away. Anyway, "Who am I? Who am I trying to be?

Not myself, anyone but myself. Living in a fantasy to bury the reality. Making myself the mystery.

A strong facade disguising the misery. Empty, but beyond the point of emptiness. Full to the brim of fake confidence.

A guard that will never be broken because I broke a long time ago. I'm hurting, but don't tell anyone. No one needs to know.

Don't show or you've failed. Always okay, always fine, always on show. The show must go on.

It will never stop. The show must not go on, but I know it will. I give up. I give up giving up.

I am lost. I don't need to be saved, I need to be found." Mm, basically it's kind of just the same reoccurring thing of, yeah, not knowing who you are and feeling lost.

Host: And that's really, in one sense, I think must be why you're incredibly popular, because that's a kind of, a feeling of alienation that a lot of young people Yeah. Whether they're a model or not these days. Cara Delevingne: Yeah. And I think, again, so yeah, this started when I was about 15 years old.

I was at school. I really wanted to do well at school to please my parents, to please my family. I didn't really care that much about school 'cause I knew I was never gonna be very good at it.

I think I pushed myself so far, it got to the point where I had a bit of a mental breakdown. Host: Were you clever at school or stupid? Cara Delevingne: I was one of those people that just like, just did enough work.

Mm. Lazy. But again, I. Yeah, probably. I have very bad learning disabilities, though. If you look at my writing, it's, it's not, it's not, it's not good at all.

It's probably like a nine-year-old boy, if you know what that looks like. But I was, you know, just pushing past. Yeah, so I got to the point where I went a bit mad.

I was completely suicidal. Didn't wanna live anymore. I thought that I was completely alone.

I also realized how lucky I was and what a wonderful family and wonderful friends I had, but that didn't matter. I wanted the world to swallow me up, and nothing seemed better to me than death, which is completely insane. So I got taken out of school, went to therapy, got put on antidepressants.

Kind of clawed my way back to some sort of, rational thought, which took a while. But basically I stayed in school until I was 17, where I still was kind of plagued with this depression and I was like, "I'm done.

I need to leave," which to the rather large disagreement from my parents, I was, I did, I left, and I knew I had to do something 'cause otherwise I would just go crazy. So I started modeling, and I wanted to do it, I wanted to work every day. Host: I And wait a minute, how old were you now?

You're 18. 17. Cara Delevingne: 17. So this is, I left school early. I didn't finish my last year.

Host: Right. And what was modeling like at, to begin with? Because, I mean, you weren't successful for the first year, were you? No. So you've, you've had both sides of the modeling coin in one sense.

You've had the incredible success, but actually, what was the life of a working, unsuccessful model like? Cara Delevingne: I mean, there it was there was elements which were fun, 'cause it's like this camaraderie of people not being successful, and you can complain about all the people who are rude to you. But it's not, it wasn't nice.

It, you constantly are told that you're not pretty enough and not tall enough and not skinny enough, and people are better. And when you're young, you think, "That means I'm not good enough as a person. Like, that means I'm not living up to who I should be," and you kind of get battered and bruised a lot, but then you kind of grow a bit of a skin.

Host: What were the agencies like? What was an agency like? 'Cause I always think they're quite macabre things.

Cara Delevingne: Yeah. I mean, the thing with models is they you get used. That's the thing. I saw a lot of, misuse from photographers, you know, perverse photographers to young girls. A lot of straight photographers only really do this because they wanna sleep with young models.

You know, Bad kind of experiences in that sense, not by me, but to other poor people. Poor girls who don't stand up for themselves because you feel like you should be used because that's what models do. But then, you know, about a year into it I was discovered.

I did Burberry and then everybody wants you. You know, after so long of being like nobody wants you suddenly like, "Oh my God, who's that?" I was like, "I've met you five times and I'm pretty sure you didn't want me two minutes ago."

But cool. That was weird. Host: That must've been the most amazing explosion from going to, from being not very successful to suddenly, because your success really exploded in seconds really after, getting Burberry, didn't Cara Delevingne: it? Kind, but that was also in 2011.

It still took a while, but it was still more like in the fashion Mm. It definitely became a thing. You know, I was finally like in shows.

I was like, "Ooh, this is weird." Right. Yeah, it definitely changed. But after that it kind of, you know, you pick up pace, you start working.

I was working every day. I had no concept of saying no to anyone ever. And Host: this is one of the most important show business lessons actually, learning how to say no.

Have you learnt yet? Cara Delevingne: Yes. I think life you should always experience things, but you should not, you should say no. I mean, it's more about being in control and not being a puppet is what the most important thing is.

And not doing anything not doing anything for anyone else apart from yourself. Because after a while I just started to get sick and I got this horrible thing called psoriasis. Host: Oh my God, like Kim Kardashian.

Like Kim. Ah, Cara Delevingne: that's, that I know, she told me about the breast milk thing which actually worked. Host: That's, that is amazing. So there you are a beautiful model on the Rubbing breast milk on myself, yes.

And on the inside you've got psoriasis coming up. And how did you deal with it? Cara Delevingne: Not very well.

I it was actually happening at the time when I was doing shows and it was, it wasn't like psoriasis, that's why I have a little bit right here. But it was like giant welts all over my body including my head. It would bleed and it was anyway, sorry if gross.

And you look at yourself like you're an alien. You're like, "I'm so disgusting." It's not good for your, especially at that time.

I felt more disconnected from myself than I think I ever had, which I was for a long time quite disconnected. And as well, Host: But how, but how do you cure something like Cara Delevingne: that?

'Cause it's Well, my agency were like, 'cause usually you have to take time to fix internal problems, like it's food and stress and but you know, they shoved me straight into a doctor who would inject cortisone into each spot which died then but not really and they you know, that kind of thing.

Mm. It's like all those problems I had I feel like I masked with medicine instead of taking the time to really solve them. But at that time I really wanted someone to stop me. I wanted someone to go, "You need to take a break.

You need to look after yourself." And no one did Would you have listened to them anyway? I was the one who had it all.

Like I was, I had what everyone Would you have listened to them do you think? So surely I should've been happy. Yes. You would? Yeah.

Of course I would've. That's what I wanted. Host: But at the same time you had a fabulous life.

Yes. Because I remember Fabulous. With you in a Karl Lagerfeld film and you were off to spend the weekend with Rihanna, and I was going, "Rihanna." So I mean, there must've been an upside to the whole thing.

Cara Delevingne: I mean, of course there's an upside. Yeah, there's been a lot of upsides. And you are the It was more like the external life I couldn't be luckier, more blessed, but the internal battles that were going on were just.

I also felt like I never deserved any of it, that I was living someone else's dream. It, this point is just about like being able to show, like have a mirror up at yourself and really look inside for what you need.

And what happened was I eventually said no, and I eventually took a break, to the advice of Kate Moss who kind of picked me up off the floor passed out being covered in paint. Host: What was she doing down on that floor? Nothing. Kidding. Cara Delevingne: I know.

Ba-dum-bum. But yeah, so I said no. I went, I started writing. Writing was something that really saved my life, again, so that poem probably came out then.

It was like I would write and I would read what I'd written and it was like someone else was talking to me. I was like, "What? Is that how I feel?"

It was a very strange experience. Host: And are you living in Los Angeles now or are you going to live here? Cara Delevingne: I'm living wherever I'm made to be.

Wherever you lay your head. I'm filming in Paris for six months next year which will be fun. Mm. Paris is gonna be great.

What are you doing? Bit of a slowdown. I'm doing a movie called Valerian.

Mm-hmm. Which is by a wonderful director called Luc Besson who I've always admired He's great. Entirely, yeah. It's just, I there's a lot of things I want to do. I always wanted to be a director.

I think as well I have so many girls come up to me and tell me that they want to be models which is fine. It's not a bad thing. I just think there's so much to do.

I just went to a wonderful talk about, genetic engineering and neuroscience, and this man who was giving the talk explained that there's like 10,000 kids is, from the age of seven to 13 who are doing neuroscience. They do these competitions and wonderful things, and they're doing things in neuroscience which haven't been, which weren't done by him until he was like 30.

Like how quickly things like that are changing and but they're not, there is an awareness brought to school, stuff like that. Like that sounds way cooler to me than being a model. But like no one really knows about it.

And I just think there are just so many things. I always say to girls, "Just dream, just dream bigger. Go for president. Just keep going up.

Astronauts." I don't know. Host: Well, you're really young so you've got tons of time. You could even go back to university

Age 30 and study, Yeah, exactly. Cara Delevingne: Genetics. I might. I might. Host: But Cara, thank you very much.

It's been great. Good luck with everything. Thank you. And it was really fascinating to listen to what you're saying.

Thanks a lot. Cara Delevingne: I have one other thing to say. That was so I've never heard a clap stop quicker. I just have a little quote to say which I made up which is, "Be comfortable in your own shoes," which apparently I'm not, which is really bad.

"Be comfortable in your own shoes 'cause you're gonna be in them for a while." So that's my last message to everyone. Good.